Thursday, February 23, 2012

Urine Trouble

Do you know there are many women who call themselves "Sweet Pee" on dating sites? With that spelling, wouldn't the "Princess and the Pee" be about bed wetting?

My Eyes are Up Here

It is surprising how many women post pictures of their very large breasts, sometimes in swimsuits, other times with necklines plunging down. I am shocked and appalled. Well, let's leave it at surprised.

I am glad these women are proud of at least parts of their bodies, but they must know they are baiting the hook for guys with a "scratch and spit" mentality. The neandrathals may read the profile, but it's the pics that have their attention.

I prefer women who are modest about having ample treasures, so men might actually see their eyes and smiles. I'm of the opinion that "it's not the size that matters." And I have been telling that to every woman I get close to! (insert smiley face here).

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Surely You Can't Be Serious? Yes I am serious...

... and don't call me Shirley (Leslie Nielsen in Airplane).

Surely these dating site names can't be serious:

"LABLUBBER" - which, since she mentions having a labrador retriever for a pet, she may mean to say she is a "lab lover." But, she does say in her profile that she "has a few extra pounds."

"GEEZERGIRL" - I suppose it's nice to have someone out there attracted to us geezers.

"PSYCHOGIRL54" - I am really hoping she is a psychologist.

A couple male names contributed by an online connection:

"DCCOFFIN" -  must picture a "til death do us part" kind of relationship.

"MOLDY1" -  definitely must introduce him to the "HOTFUNGAL."

When You Just Need a Single Friend

I realize now that all the female friends I have had for the past 27 years have been married. Sure, there have been "work friends," but none where I shared any deep feelings. So, on the road to relationship recovery, I am trying to make new female friends. Not just potential "girl friends" or lovers, but honest to goodness "share emotions and experiences" friends of the female persuasion.

It is not an easy thing to do when I'm in pain, when time alone starts to feel like loneliness, and when my ego has taken a beating because the person I loved most in the world is not "in love" with me any more. I don't want to just be liked. I want to be loved. I admit to being addicted to making love, and the feeling of withdrawal is intense.

I understand a lot of men in my position decide to bed every woman they can to prove they are desirable, while at the same time proving they are real jerks. But I have decided to do my best to, as my mother told me so delicately, "keep it in my pants."

The online world is very seductive. You can have dozens of instant female friends who laugh and flirt with you. But there is no physical connection. That has to happen in the "real world," not the fantasy world where you can share your deepest feelings and not have to worry whether you can do the same thing when an actual person is actually standing in front of you.

I think almost everyone on dating sites is looking for love, not just someone who will go to a movie or go bowling with you. It just doesn't seem to be the best place to build open, trusting relationships with good communication while I  struggle to learn to be a "single" person who is not just half a couple.

I believe that I need some good non-romantic female friends now, and when I am truly ready to face life alone, that will actually be the time when I am ready to fall in love again.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Another Dating Site Name of the Day

True Senior Site profile name:

To be fair, this is a European woman who is just learning English, but someone should probably tell her how saying you are a "Kall Girl" may lead to a lot of men with different expectations for a "date."

Why God Invented Spell Check

I think there is a tendency for (perhaps nervous?) profile writers on dating sites to not be too careful about spelling, which creates some interesting interpretations. For example:

- I got a "flirt" from a Vietnamese-American woman who was interested in "meating" me. Sounded like it could be painful and I didn't want to be objectified, so I passed on being "meat."

- A Leesburg, VA woman who is interested in men with "advanced degrees" says she is looking for someone "sofisticated." I would have contacted her, but I think I'm too intelligint.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Separated but Not Equal

Some women's online dating profiles make it very clear - "no separated men need apply." Kind of a "check with me when you are legally divorced." Does that mean I can't date women because in my state you have to be separated for one year for a no-fault divorce? I'm not talking about having sex (well, maybe I am a little), I'm talking about taking a woman to a movie or to dinner to see if there is a new friendship or a mutual attraction.

I can come up with a few reasons some women classify "separated' as "still married."

1. OK, you got me on this one. You ARE still technically married, even if you are the "dumpee."

2. They assume you still are in love with your soon to be ex (especially if you talk incessantly about her), and that you may even end up going back to her.

3. They don't want to be the "rebound" romance that the experts say a man or woman will go through before he/she is ready for a new serious long-term relationship.

So, I have to remain celibate for a year to avoid potential adultery charges? Even if I know my marriage is toast and I'm just waiting for the paperwork? I am not allowed to even be considered as a potential match even if we may "click" on everything else?

I want to change my status from "separated" to "pre-divorced" to make it clearer I am out there on my own, that I have put my baggage away.

We are all damaged goods. Can I guarantee you that after 6 months, 1 year, 2 years from my breakup that I am "healed" enough for a new serious relationship? Seriously, you have to take chances in love, or you may just miss the person you could happily be with for the rest of your life.

Extinguished by an Old Flame

On my way to my divorce, I have been trying to rekindle old friendships I have had through the years. When a former fiance of mine popped up on Facebook as someone I might want to friend, I said what the heck. About 30 years ago this beautiful woman decided 6 weeks before our wedding that she just didn't love me enough to marry me. Later, she said she had made a mistake, but I had already moved on and things did not end well. Looking back, it would probably have been my first divorce.

Anyway, I sent her a message asking her if I could "friend" her and received this response:

"Too early. Check with me again in another 30 years."

I suddenly remembered her sarcasm was something I always appreciated.

I responded that she would hear from me again when I am 90. By then, I will have graduated from Senior Dating Sites to Elderly Dating Sites.

Give that Woman a Hand

I have noticed a strange phenomenon on these dating sites - the appearance of an unattached hand on a woman's left or right shoulder. The other parts of the body belonging to the hand have been cropped out. I think it's likely that the body behind the hand has been severed from a relationship, too.

Sometimes the best pictures of a woman smiling might be those where a husband or boyfriend  had his arm around her. It makes me a little sad that a woman might not have a picture of herself standing alone, smiling proudly about the person she is, not just half a couple.

I don't believe that a husband and wife should be two halves of a whole. Two whole people standing on their own and sharing their independent lives makes more sense to me.

So women, lose the disembodied hands, just like you probably have taken the man attached to it out of your life.