I was just putting my toe in the dating water when I met a woman who had already gone off the deep end. "Rita" had a profile that reflected that she was smart, sassy, and had movie star looks. She messaged me about getting together for a glass of wine, and I said to myself "self, why not?"
First bad sign for someone like me looking for honesty and trust in a relationship - she arrived looking much older than her picture, which was a glamor shot taken 15 years ago. The years had not been that kind to Rita, with a big weight gain and much sadder eyes.
By her 3rd glass of wine, Rita was getting very loud and in full party mode. By her 5th, she was talking about how great a lover she was, in graphic detail. After her 6th glass, I was able to pry her away from the bar and out to her car. Rita proceeded to pounce, with aggressive kisses and that extra hand women always complain about men having that seems to go right for the privates. I decided I really didn't want my privates to go public with this woman. Her sober self seemed nice, but I just could not picture myself having sex (for the first time in over two decades with someone other than my wife) with this woman, in this condition. And for the first time, I had the thought that this might not be the healthiest thing to do when it comes to potential sexually transmitted disease. I guess I have matured a little bit since the hormone raging days where I would have hit on her in a second (and probably lasted that long, too).
I followed Rita home to make sure she was able to drive OK, and took off, telling her I just wasn't ready to get intimate with anyone again.
I don't mean to make light of anyone with a drinking problem. But, I have decided that coffee dates are better first dates than wine dates. Coffee opens your eyes to what she's like, while drinking clouds your feelings and potentially your judgement. Note to self: self, if you are not ready to swim, don't dive into the deep end of the dating pool.